Friday, September 7, 2012

"Mean" mommy

     What does it really take to get to someone's "wits' end"?  I really think I'm beginning to learn what that may be about. *twitch twitch*
     My summer quarter of school kicked my ass. Literally.  I had never had to write so many papers for not only English, but for Lifespan Psychology.  My Algebra homework on top of it all was grueling.  I had never, in my life, looked forward to a break.  For eight weeks I was Godzilla to my children.  No amount of drugs or alcohol on the planet could fix the amount of bitch coming from me.  They were always so happy to see me when I got home from school and then as soon as their dad would leave to go to work that night, they were crazy, insane or insane, crazy.  No matter what I did, what I said, threatened, spanked, timed-out or exercised was going to get them to settle down. Enter "mean" mommy.
     It was like turning on a switch that I never knew existed.  I was freely smacking butts, yelling (totally not my thing) and being down right intolerant of their behavior.  Weird thing?  No matter what I did, they just didn't get it.  So for the entire eight weeks of my summer quarter, I was this mother.  My kids performed the same actions to a T  I found myself waiting for bedtime to come and most days, it didn't come fast enough.  I don't know what happened to my children!  I always joke with people about how they "used to be normal".  Now, its not so much a joke as it is my cruel reality. 
     Today is one of those days with my girls.  Their dad is gone until Sunday for "army crap" and the minute he walks out the door; they are full speed with no brakes.  They were both awake with the sun and they will soon discover they will be down with the sun if they keep deciding they don't need a nap.  It's too hot a day here in western Washington to just throw them outside.  It would be different if they were built for this type of warmth, but they aren't.  So, during the hot afternoon, they are stuck inside with me.  Fortunately "mean" mommy hasn't shown up today.  I'm praying she doesn't because that means I'm finally growing during my break before my fall quarter starts.  But you know, I wonder how the hell I ever stayed at home with these kiddos day in and day out now.  What the hell has happened to me and my patience??

Friday, March 9, 2012


Let's just get one thing straight.  I have no cape.  I definetly don't have the cool Wonder Woman type of underwear and I think it's pretty fair to say that Wonder Woman didn't run around in a long nightgown with sweatpants on underneath it, fuzzy unmatching socks and a houserobe while her hair is a mess in the morning trying to get liquid life flowing so she could function.  Nope.  I'm pretty sure that the last time I checked, I'm just your everyday mom. 

This is my life.  I take everything I can, one step at a time as long as time allows.  Full-time college life while being a "supermom" to 2 active little toddlers and a pretty child-like husband at times (more good meaning behind that then bad) has its ups and downs.  Need to get those last few math homework problems done??  Que baby crying AS SOON as your mind starts to comprehend what you are attempting to learn, which then starts a downward spiral of putting things into prospective.  Attempts to ignore the crying in hopes of it being a fluke have rendured futile. 

Need just an extra 20 minutes of study time for that big unit test??  Que falling asleep at the kitchen table because you've been up all night, off and on, because that crying baby has a 102 fever. And you know the cool thing??  You learn to DEAL with it.  You learn to manage your time, complete what you need to, and you do it in a timely fashion.  You know why?  Because those mentioned above are your SOLE reason for doing what you're doing.  To make their future's better, so that they have a better life and understanding of things so that as they grow up, they learn to better prepare themselves to NOT feel the pressure of life and society and know that its OK to just BE themselves on so many different levels. 

If this is the reason so many have viewed me as or called me a "supermom" then I have just one thing left to say to them.  The last time I checked, that was called being a GOOD mom.  So keep your cape.  I don't need it.  Knowing I'm a GOOD mom, is super enough for me.